Holiday Bark

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Nothing says the weekend before the holidays like spending 20 minutes on the single-file line at Target, which wrapped all the way through the store to the home section (AKA, the mason-jars-in-wicker-baskets-with-fancy-lettering -on-a-mini-chalkboard aisle). This line was so long, that Target employees were tasked with keeping customers calm by handing out holiday lollipops and smiling reassuringly. “It’s only 22 minutes to the registers from here!” they said to me as I shifted my five items around in my Target basket. What on earth am I doing spending this amount of time in line to buy five  items? I thought to myself, embarrassed about the fact that four of the five items could have easily been bought at the grocery store, which most likely was only half as crowded.

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Looking back on the frenzy of a Saturday morning Target run 5 days before Christmas, I am nothing but pleased that I came home which those five items. Those items come together on a baking ban to form “Holiday Bark”. In no particular order, the key players are:

  • White chocolate chips, or
  • Semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • Pretzel Sticks
  • Holiday Oreos
  • M&Ms

Here’s what you do.

Throw some Holiday Oreos and pretzel sticks in a bowl, and smash them, using any method you would like. I used a soft-shell crab hammer which I always feel bad for since I never use it, because I never make soft-shell crab. (I can’t be the only one who feels sympathy for under-used kitchen tools, right? Right?)

Spread the hammered up mixture out on a parchment-lined baking pan. Then, melt the white or semi-sweet chocolate in a microwave-safe bowl for 1 minute. Stir. Microwave in 30-second intervals, stirring the chocolate until smooth. I made two different pans (one white chocolate, one semi-sweet), but I have a feeling layering the chocolates on top of one another on a single pan would bring this recipe to a new level.

Spread the melted chocolate over the pretzel-Oreo mixture using a rubber spatula, and sprinkle M&Ms on top. Then, eat some pretzels and lick the spatula. This step is not optional. Refrigerate the pan for 30 minutes, and then use a knife to cut the bark.

That’s it- you’re done! The simplicity of this recipe might be my downfall. I was planning on giving this Holiday Bark as part of my holiday present to the wonderful tutors who work with my students, but this stuff might not make it through the weekend. It’s that good. Like so ridiculously addicting that I may have already eaten 5 pieces good. If you don’t believe me, see for yourself. Good luck if you decide to go to Target for the ingredients!

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